A buck and a squaw are driving into town to get more beer and the squaws 
blowing him on the way. Suddenly, the squaw pulls her head up and says "yur 
pashinit".
The buck grins and pushes her head back down.
Again she yanks her head back up and says "yur pashinit".
"I know, I know" he says - "I'm very romantic, eh!"
"NO, NO", she says, "yur pashinit... the beer store's right there..."


****************************************************************************

Q: Why doesn't the law allow men to marry 2 women? 
A: That's more punishment than any man deserves ! 


Q: Did you here about the two blonds that froze to death at the drive in?? 
A: They went to see closed for winter!! 


Q: Why do politicians envy ventriloquists?
A: Because they can lie without moving their lips.


****************************************************************************

By the time Ted arrived at the football game, the first 
quarter was almost over. "Why are you so late?" his 
friend asked.
  "I had to toss a coin to decide between going to 
church and coming to the game."

  "How long could that have taken you?"

  "Well, I had to toss it 14 times."


****************************************************************************


The boy came skipping into the house with a big lollipop in his  hands.
"Where did you get it?" his mother asked.
 
"I bought it with the quarter you gave me."
 
"The money I gave you was for Sunday School, " his mother chided.
 
"I know Mom," said the boy, "but the minister met me at the door and got me
in free."



****************************************************************************

The blond called up the airline ticket counter and asked, "How long are your
flights from Los Angeles to Phoenix?"

The counterman answered, "Just a minute."

"Okay, thank you!" the blonde replied.  And hung up.
 

****************************************************************************


"Get this." said a guy to his friends, "Last night,
while I was down at the bar with you guys, a
burglar broke into my house.

"Did he get anything?" his friends asked.

"Yeah, a broken jaw, six teeth knocked out, and
a pair of broken ribs. The wife thought it was me
coming home drunk."



****************************************************************************