Did you hear who Hillary is inviting to spend the night at the White House?

Lorena Bobbitt

What's Slick Willie's new nickname? President-erect.

Clinton used to play the Sexophone... now it's the HarMONICA

Why is Clinton so interested in the Middle East? He heard the Gaza Strip was an exotic dance club

Did you hear the new American slang term for oral sex? "Hey honey, just BILL me!!!"

What do Monica Lewinsky and Sammy "The Bull" Gravano have in common?
They both coughed up the evidence

What is Bill's idea of "safe sex"?
A locked door

Clinton still maintains he was not lying . . . . . .he was standing and she was kneeling

When asked about his relations with Monica, the president replied "it's

part of my standing policy"

What did Hillary say when Bill told her his side of the story? "This one is hard to swallow"

Did you hear that Monica got honorable mention in her high school year

book?
....she was voted most likely to "suckseed"......

New White House motto: Tails you win, head you lose. In Monica's case, head you win, tails you lose

How is Monica different than a Coke Machine? She performs better when the "Bill" faces down.

What do White House Interns and Saddam Hussein have in common? Clinton wants to bring them both to their knees

Why did Al Gore visit his urologist this week? He developed a case of premature inauguration.

What is the difference between the Titanic and the president? We know how many people went down on the titanic!

run, run, run, burger, burger, burger, sex, sex, sex... ...a typical day on the Clinton desk calendar.

If the skeletons in Bill Clinton's closet stood up at the same time... It

would look like the Chinese Army!

What is Bill Clinton's favorite federal program? "Head" Start.

Does Clinton talk to Hillary after sex? Yes, if she calls the white house...

What did Monica tell friends when asked about her job at the White House?

"It sucks !"

Why did Al Gore offer to switch places with the Commander in Chief? He thought Clinton was already acting as VICE president.

Hilary was the woman behind the man Monica was the woman below the man

What begins with an M and Blows like the wind... ... no, you degenerate, a Monsoon

Why didn't Bill Clinton call the Denver Broncos' locker-room after they

won the Super Bowl?
He was making a bigger score himself.

What did Johnny Cochran, Clinton's new lawyer, say to the jury? It's not a sin, if it don't go in!

Walking into the costume shop downtown I could not help to stop to read

the "post office like" warning poster on the wall. It had a photograph of President Clinton with the following warning: "Do not rent this man a Santa Suit. Doing so would risk the understood

definition of sitting on Santa's lap as we have come to know it."

What did Ted Kennedy say to Bill Clinton? What are you worried about? At least she's not dead.

Did you hear that the State of the Union speech has been cancelled? From now on Clinton will give a State of the Unit speech.

What do Brett Favre and Monica have in common? They both blew the big one

How can you tell you've just had sex with Bill Clinton? You've got Big Mac sauce and french fries in your hair, and Vernon Jordan is handing you a job application.

What is Clinton's newest pick-up line? Hey babe, can you keep a secret?

What did Starr tell Monica? C'mon Monica, spit it out!

What did Bill Clinton say to Vernon Jordan? "NOW she opens her mouth!"

New Democratic slogan - Win one for the Zipper!

What did Nancy Reagan say to Hillary recently? Now I see why you said, "JUST SAY NO!"

What did a famous psychic recently predict for Monica Lewinsky? You will go down in history.

What's the one thing that President Clinton did wrong in his illicit affairs? He didn't ask Teddy Kennedy to drive the women home.

What was Bill Clinton's reply to this scandal? I was only trying to keep my campaign promise by putting more women on my staff.

With all his activities in the White House, Clinton gives new meaning to

the term "domestic tranquility."

What's the difference between the Watergate and the Zippergate ?

• The first scandal involved all the President's Men.
• The second scandal involved all the President's Women.

I'm making a contribution to Clinton's defense fund . . . "Free Willy's Willy"

The great benefit that Clinton has seen from Zippergate is that it has

taken away the stigma of being the most anti-military president in history. After all, none of his predecessors has gone to such great lengths

to have his privates on display.