"Millennium Bug"

It seems that computer programs are full of
"bugs," so named because that's what many
software engineers look like.  And, the worst
bug is the Y2K, which, if left un-addressed,
could result in the following calamities:

Bill Clinton might be constitutionally eligible
to run for a third term.

Chevy might bring back the Vega.

Airlines might accidentally install seats large
enough for people to sit in.

Due to a crash in their phone systems, you
could call a bank and wind up talking to a
person instead of a recording.

The White House might start charging drug
dealers the wrong rate for a night in the
Lincoln Bedroom.

As the ball drops on New Year's Eve in
Times Square in New York, it might get stuck,
meaning Dick Clark would be on television
forever.

Kenneth Starr would lose all of his data and
have to start his investigation over from scratch.

Your VCR would stop blinking MIDNIGHT
MIDNIGHT MIDNIGHT and start blinking
NOON NOON NOON.

Tony Orlando might decide the time is right
for a comeback.

If you are one of those people who have
trouble adjusting to Daylight Savings Time,
imagine the headaches you'll have to endure
when we start the 1900s all over again!

Probably the worst fear people have about Y2K
is that the banks will lose all of their data, and
no one will be able to get money out.  To prevent
this, some experts are recommending withdrawing
large amounts of cash and stuffing your mattress
with it, which sounds to me like a pretty good way
to guarantee a back ache.

Here's a better idea...  withdraw your money,
and send it to me.  I promise I won't lose it to the
Y2K bug. I can't promise about the MasterCard
and Visa bug, but better the bug you know than
the one you don't, I always say.  (Well ok, I
never actually have said that before.)