How can you tell that Grandma's sex drive is alive and well?
She keeps baking those Viagra Chip Cookies!


What's the difference between a police car and a porcupine?
Porcupines have pricks on the outside


Why did the blonde have a bruised and stretched belly button? 
Her boyfriend is blonde. 


*****************************************************


John was in a bar looking very dejected. 
His friend, Steve, walked over and asked, "What's wrong?" 
"It's my mother-in-law," John replied, while shaking his head sadly. "I
have a real problem with her." 
"Cheer up," Steve said. "Everyone has problems with their
mother-in-law." 
"Yeah," John answered. "But I got mine pregnant." 


******************************************************


Making a speech against the proliferation of X-rated videocassettes, the
mayoral candidate said, "I rented one of these cassettes and was shocked
to find by my count five acts of oral sex, three of sodomy, a transsexual
making love to a dog, and a woman accommodating five men at once.  If
elected, I vow that tapes such as these will no longer befoul our fair
community."  He concluded the fiery denunciation by asking, "Are there any
questions?"

Five people shouted in unison, "Where did you rent the tape?"


*********************************************************


There was a great eruption of a south sea island volcano, and the witch
doctor appealed to the tribal chief, demanding that a virgin be
sacrificed to appease the volcano.

The chief apologized, "I've used up all the virgins myself, so I guess
we'll just have to get used to the noise."


*************************************************************

"The thrill is gone from my marriage," Bill told his friend Doug.

"Why not add some intrigue to your life and have an affair?" Doug
suggested.

"But what if my wife finds out?"

"Heck, this is a new age we live in, Bill. Go ahead and tell her about it!"

So Bill went home and said, "Dear, I think an affair will bring us closer
together."

"Forget it," said his wife. "I've tried that - it never worked."



***************************************************************



A young engaged couple were getting some prenuptial counseling from
their minister. The guy asked, "Is it okay to have sex before the
wedding?"

The minister replied, "As long as it doesn't delay the ceremony."



****************************************************************



After much arguing and deliberation historians this week have
come up with a phrase to describe the Clinton Era.   It will be
called:


SEX BETWEEN THE BUSHES




*****************************************************************

"Do you serve women at this bar?"
 "No, sir, you have to bring your own."

 "I have changed my mind."
 "Thank heaven! Does it work better now?"


******************************************************************