Bumper Stickers to Ponder

• A closed mouth gathers no feet.
• A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
• A penny saved is ridiculous.
• All that glitters has a high refractive index.
• Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be

  lazy.

• Anarchy is better than no government at all.
• Any small object when dropped will hide under a larger object.
• Be moderate where pleasure is concerned, avoid fatigue.
• Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.
• Death is Nature's way of saying 'slow down'.
• Don't force it, get a larger hammer.
• Earn cash in your spare time...blackmail friends.
• Entropy isn't what it used to be.
• Fairy tales: horror stories for children to get them used to

  reality.

• God did not create the world in 7 days. He pulled an all-nighter

  on the 6th.

• Going the speed of light is bad for your age.
• Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
• Herblock's Law: If it's good, they will stop making it.
• History does not repeat itself, historians merely repeat each

  other.

• It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
• It works better if you plug it in.
• It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.
• Jury: Twelve people who determine which client has the better

  lawyer.

• Let not the sands of time get in your lunch.
• Mediocrity thrives on standardization.
• Reality is the only obstacle to happiness.
• The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
• The 2 most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and

  stupidity.

• Back Up My Hard Drive? How do I Put it in Reverse?
• I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
• Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
• When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
• Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
• Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
• I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
• He's not dead, he's electroencephalographically challenged.
• She's always late. Her ancestors arrived on the Juneflower.
• You have the right to remain silent....Anything you say will be

  misquoted, then used against you.

• I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
• Honk if you love peace and quiet.
• Pardon my driving; I am reloading.
• Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool.
• A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
• Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
• On the other hand, you have different fingers.