Q: Did you hear that Viagra now comes in a nasal spray? 

A: It's for Dickheads 

**********************************************************************

A Blonde orders a takeaway pizza. The waiter asks, "Shall I cut it 
into six or twelve pieces."

"Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."


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Golf is a lot like sex.  You don't have to be good at it to enjoy it.


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Q: Why do blondes have more fun?  

A: They are easier to amuse 

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A drunk was in front of a judge.
The judge said, "You've been brought here for drinking."

The drunk said, "Okay, let's get started!"



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A man rushed into the doctor's office and shouted,
"Doctor! I think I'm shrinking!!"

The doctor calmly responded, "Now, settle down. You'll  just have to be a 
little patient."



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A man phones a mental hospital and asks
the receptionist if there is anybody in Room 27.

She goes and checks, and comes back to
the phone, telling him No, the room is empty.

"Good," says the man. "That means I must
have really escaped."


***********************************************************************


A man went to his lawyer and said "I would like to make a will but I don't
know exactly how to go about it."

The lawyer says "No problem, leave it all to me".

The man looks somewhat upset ... "Well I knew you were going to take the
biggest slice, but I'd like to leave a little to my children too!




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"I have to have a raise," the man said to his boss. "There  are three other
companies after me."
 
"Is that so?" asked the manager. "What other companies are  after you?"
 
"The electric company, the telephone company, and the gas company."



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Have you heard about the woman who had sex with a racehorse?  

She's now in a stable condition.


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Q.  Why can't single women fart?
A.  They don't get an asshole til they get married!


Q.  What is 77?
A.  Just like 69, but you get 8 more!

Q: What does a blonde use for birth control?
A: Brown hair-dye.


Q:  What's the most sensitive part of your body when you're masturbating?
A:  Your ears.

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There was a wealthy 70 year-old guy who had just married a beautiful 25 year 
old young lady. One of his long time friends said to him, "How did you get 
that gorgeous woman to marry a 70 year old guy like you?" The guy leaned over 
and said to his friend, "It was easy. I simply told her that I was 90." 


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Little Johnny's father said, "let me see your report
card."

Johnny replied "I don't have it."

"Why not?" His father asked.

"My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his 
parents.



*************************************************************************



A man walks into a bar sits down and say, "Bartender, got
any specials today?"

Bartender says, "Yes, we have mixture of Pabst Blue Ribbon
and Smirnoff Vodka."

Man says, "Damn, what the hell is that?"

Bartender says, "Well we call it a 'Pabst Smir' !"


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